
As we packed up and prepared to head out from a lovely stay in Albuquerque, our great host left us with a few parting suggestions. First, we should take Central west, as this followed the Old Route 66 (and eventually hooked up with the Interstate), and one could get a glimpse of some roadside attractions of days gone by. Secondly, he suggested we check out Pro Ranch Market to pick up some edibles for our upcoming days of camping. Lastly, he said we just had to check out Acoma, otherwise known as the Sky City. It is one of the oldest continuously inhabited settlements in all of North America. Sadly, not all of his suggestions panned out.
Just a short ways down Central, we arrived at Pro Ranch Market. What a trip.

Upon leaving the Pro Ranch Market experience, which was quite fun and highly recommended, we continued down Central, or old Route 66. It was rather unimpressive, as the old motor lodges were sparsely dotted in amongst the corporate-run fast-food joints and mini-markets. I planned to stop to fill up the van, and Heidi mentioned that she had to go, so we started looking for a place to accommodate both needs. I pulled into a Shell Station and started fueling the machine, while Heidi ran inside. Seconds later, she came out and her antsy dance moves suggested she hadn’t taken care of business: both restrooms were out of order! How convenient. There was a fast food joint just across the lot and I suggested she scurry over there. Again, she came back unsatisfied. This time a large sign on the door stated only customers were invited onto their porcelain thrones, and she didn’t bring any cash with her. We hopped in the van and drove over to the Smith’s Supermarket just across the asphalt prairie. As if the gods had frowned upon her bladder, she came out again. The ladies’ room was being cleaned, and therefore, was closed! Would this be the debut of our just-in-case pee bucket? I spied a Taco Bell across Central and we headed over. I drove right through a throng of teens, washing cars in some sort of fundraiser, on a mission to get Heidi to a toilet. Jesus finally heard her prayers and answered them. Although the Taco Bell restroom was also only for customers, a young employee named Jesus assisted Heidi, by handing over the key. Sweet relief! (I am much luckier than her, as I packed away a special pee bottle, which has already been used on a few occasions. Why go through the hassle of searching for a toilet, when I can just pull over and take care of business?)
I was excited about Bob’s suggestion of Acoma, the Sky City, so we made the 20-mile detour off of I-40. I’m sure the tribe sees a lot more visitors at the casino than the historic pueblo village atop a mesa, but I preferred the latter. Sadly, we pulled into the lot of the visitors’ center just minutes after the last tour left at 3pm. Furthermore, the place was a jip and we wouldn’t have paid anyways. It was $20 each to go up onto the mesa and an extra $10 per camera! We’re on a budget and blowing $50 on an hour tour is not the way to make it a year on a shoestring. Besides, one could see just a small portion of the village from ground level and much of it looked modernized, as people live there to this day…further eroding the appeal of the place. I apologized for the detour and we headed back on I-40, en route to Holbrook, AZ.
I was exhausted so Heidi took the wheel and I snoozed out. She woke me at 5pm, when we pulled in to the gates of the Petrified Forest. As the park was closing an hour later, I suggested we head into town and hit the National Park the next morning, prior to driving towards the big daddy of AZ attractions: the Grand Canyon.
Holbrook is home to one of the few wigwam motels in the country and we considered staying in one of the concrete structures, as Heidi’s pop had suggested it.

The next morning we pulled into the Petrified Forest National Park and were notified that our visit was free, as it was National Parks week. So, we got to forego the $25 entry fee! The park consists of two parts: the Painted Desert and the Petrified Forest. The park is set along a 28-mile road, with some spots to pull over and even a few short trails to hike. The Painted Desert is a series of geologic anomalies that cause different bands of color throughout. Meanwhile, the Petrified Forest consists of ancient downed trees, which spent thousands of years buried among sand and sediment, allowing them to become petrified, producing some beautiful semi-precious stones within their rings.

From the Petrified Forest we headed to Flagstaff and then further north, towards the Grand Canyon. As we climbed in elevation the scenery changed dramatically, from barren desert to a seemingly alpine setting in the San Francisco Mountains, complete with thick groves of pine and birch. The drive was simply breathtaking. We stopped in Tusayan, just miles from the gates of the park, and ate an overpriced meal that left much to be desired. From there, we retreated a couple of miles and into the heart of the Kaibab National Forest, for our first night of dispersed camping. We took a forest road into the forest, and followed a couple of turn offs before stopping at a place that was secluded from both man and machine. It seemed as if we had the entire forest to ourselves! We played a little catch until the sun began to hide it bright rays amongst the trees to the west.
Dispersed camping essentially means you just set up shop wherever you please, and leave no trace behind upon leaving. As such, there are no toilets or running water. I made sure to clear my bowels prior to heading into the forest, because I had little desire to dig a hole for my business, but it didn’t work out so well for me. Since I neglected to pack a shovel, I grabbed a plastic automotive funnel and used it to move the softened red dirt, in order to make a depository…of sorts.

The next morning we went to the Grand Canyon. Despite the free admission I expected the park to b relatively empty, given the fact that it was a Monday in mid-April. Luckily, I was right. But relatively empty at the Grand Canyon is packed for most National Parks. License plates from nearly all 50 states in the union already filled a number of lots by the time we arrived in the late morning. Beyond that, thousands of tourists sleep within the park every night, camping, RVing, or staying in one of the many guest lodges available for those who plan months in advance.
As for the Canyon itself, it is a breathtaking site and no picture will ever truly do it justice. Standing along the south rim, staring for miles into the gorges which drop thousands of feet, you really get a sense o

Since we hadn’t had the opportunity to shower that morning, we were gonna find a relatively cheap motel to bed down for the night, but only after getting started on our way to Tucson, our next stop. I feared that any place near the Canyon would be pricey and didn’t want to fork over the extra cash. So, we drove for hours before stopping in Camp Verde and checking out a hotel attached to a Native American casino and a Super 8. They ranged from $65-81 and I wasn’t willing to pay it, especially pulling in at 7pm. Quite frankly, I can be a bit frugal at times and if we’re gonna pay for a room I want to check in at the earliest possible time and take full advantage of all the amenities offered. Frustrated, I handed the keys over to Heidi, who suggested trying a campground or RV park. We stopped at one of each, only to leave frustrated both at the situation and one another. I took the wheel and resolved to drive straight through to Tucson, where we could crash with my sister an extra night.
The path we chose took us through mountainous national forests and as the light dissipated the drive became more nerve-wracking. By about 9 or 10pm we arrived in the hamlet of Payson, a fair-sized town complete with a Wal-Mart supercenter and a Home Depot. (Clearly, corporate America had found its way into small-town Arizona.) There, Heidi and I discussed our options rather passionately. I wanted to drive straight through, while she desperately wanted to stop for the night. Again, I had no desire to get a motel that late in the night, so I ended the discussion by pulling into the Wal-Mart and pulling the blinds. I made a basic meal and lay down for the night, while Heidi got some air…flustered with my decision, and feeling like our large van had become something of a holding cell.
The drive fro Payson to Tucson the next morning took us through Tonto National Forest and Roosevelt Lake. Again, the scenery was beautiful and I am amazed by the natural beauty and varied ecosystems which abound in Arizona.
We got to Tucson in the late afternoon and I suggested we use up some KFC gift certificates we received from my sister Margaret prior to beginning this adventure. I had to try the new Double Down sandwich, which consists of two unnaturally large chicken breasts (in lieu of a bun), with pepper jack and bacon in the middle. Quite frankly, it was a little much, but I did manage to scarf most of it down.
Next we drove through the Saguaro National Park, in order to get to my elder sister’s home on the outskirts of town.

As we followed the last of Tom’s directions and rounded the corner of one dirt road onto another, there he was: a fifty-something man with a grey mohawk, aided with a cane and armed with a pistol on his hip. He guided us into our parking spot and quickly greeted us with a tour of their estate. They have an acre of land, on which a double-wide trailer sits. In one corner of the property is a coop, complete with a number of chickens and one rooster. There is a mini-semi trailer (for use as storage) on the lot, my old 1968 AMC Ambassador

Margaret and Tom have three rescue dogs, and they rule the roost.

Once we arrived at their pad we took some much needed showers (48 hours+ of dirt accumulation), used their wifi and otherwise just relaxed. Tom prepared a great stir fry meal and some extra chocolate brownies. (I suspect the brownies were an attempt to win Heidi over. Regardless, it worked).
The next few days were spent with Heidi’s maternal uncle Jim, and his wife Mary. They are a very youthful couple, but spend the winters in a retirement community in Tucson. They certainly didn’t act the part of their neighbors. After introductions and some storytelling, Jim and Mary took us on a nice rigorous walk through the Saguaro desert, pointing out the different types of cacti and exchanging more stories.
Jim really is a fascinating man and I must admit I have a bit of a man crush. He has been self-employed most of his life and seems to be doing what he enjoys, and he is successful at it too. Mary entered his life a little later than in a traditional marriage, but that only fits in with the bond they have.

While staying with them Mary prepared some excellent dinners, while Jim whipped up a lovely breakfast consisting of blueberry Belgian waffles. I am definitely looking forward to reconnecting with them in Darby for some biking and other outdoor activities. After parting ways, so they could get moving back towards Montana, we rolled back over to my sister’s house. She and Tom brought us to Sabino Canyon, where we took a tram along the bottom of the formation. Our driver was full of information, but seemed a bit out of place with his NYC accent. It was a nice little outing. Of course, Tom whipped up another nice meal (and more brownies) before we hit they hay and prepared for our drive to Phoenix.
We drove to Phoenix on Saturday and hooked up with Heidi’s paternal Uncle Jim and his wife, Vicki. They are another awesome couple and have a beautiful little home in Tempe. They really have the feng shui working well and the house seems lived in yet not cluttered. It is both functional and fashionable. I can only hope that some day I will have a little sanctuary half as perfect as theirs. (That being said, I cannot fathom the upkeep of such a beautiful little crib.)
On Saturday we went out to eat with Jim, Vicki, Heidi’s sis Amy (who flew in from Minneapolis) and Jim’s son Landon.

We spent Sunday separately, which was probably way overdue. Heidi just lounged around with her big sister, while I went out and exuded some testosterone with my buddy Graham, who also flew in, and our friend Brad, who just moved back down to PHX.

We spent Monday in Sedona, a town surrounded by beautiful red rock formations, but overrun by tourists and those waiting to prey on them.

Today is Heidi’s birthday and we drove all day to La Jolla, just outside of San Diego. We just got here and will be spending the next two nights near the beach, before heading to Palm Springs and a free stay at a beautiful home!!! Woot woot!