Arizona: The Grand Canyon & Beyond

As we packed up and prepared to head out from a lovely stay in Albuquerque, our great host left us with a few parting suggestions. First, we should take Central west, as this followed the Old Route 66 (and eventually hooked up with the Interstate), and one could get a glimpse of some roadside attractions of days gone by. Secondly, he suggested we check out Pro Ranch Market to pick up some edibles for our upcoming days of camping. Lastly, he said we just had to check out Acoma, otherwise known as the Sky City. It is one of the oldest continuously inhabited settlements in all of North America. Sadly, not all of his suggestions panned out.

Just a short ways down Central, we arrived at Pro Ranch Market. What a trip. Picture your standard grocery supermarket (e.g. Cub Foods) taken over by our friends south of the border. Inside was a bevy of sights and smells not commonly seen in the gringo grocers: Tejano music playing from the speakers, colorful sweetbreads, large clear vats of juice drinks which ran the spectrum of flavors, piles of chiles and even piñatas and streamers hanging down from the ceiling! It really was quite a remarkable sight. And while most of the clientele were of the Spanish-speaking variety, never did we feel uncomfortable or unwelcomed. Being a foodie-in-training, Heidi was immediately in a state of euphoria which has been nearly unmatched along our journey thus far. When I started to get a little perturbed at her loitering in the produce section, among jamaica and tamarind, she equated it to my love of unique architecture, and I understood…if only a little.

Upon leaving the Pro Ranch Market experience, which was quite fun and highly recommended, we continued down Central, or old Route 66. It was rather unimpressive, as the old motor lodges were sparsely dotted in amongst the corporate-run fast-food joints and mini-markets. I planned to stop to fill up the van, and Heidi mentioned that she had to go, so we started looking for a place to accommodate both needs. I pulled into a Shell Station and started fueling the machine, while Heidi ran inside. Seconds later, she came out and her antsy dance moves suggested she hadn’t taken care of business: both restrooms were out of order! How convenient. There was a fast food joint just across the lot and I suggested she scurry over there. Again, she came back unsatisfied. This time a large sign on the door stated only customers were invited onto their porcelain thrones, and she didn’t bring any cash with her. We hopped in the van and drove over to the Smith’s Supermarket just across the asphalt prairie. As if the gods had frowned upon her bladder, she came out again. The ladies’ room was being cleaned, and therefore, was closed! Would this be the debut of our just-in-case pee bucket? I spied a Taco Bell across Central and we headed over. I drove right through a throng of teens, washing cars in some sort of fundraiser, on a mission to get Heidi to a toilet. Jesus finally heard her prayers and answered them. Although the Taco Bell restroom was also only for customers, a young employee named Jesus assisted Heidi, by handing over the key. Sweet relief! (I am much luckier than her, as I packed away a special pee bottle, which has already been used on a few occasions. Why go through the hassle of searching for a toilet, when I can just pull over and take care of business?)

I was excited about Bob’s suggestion of Acoma, the Sky City, so we made the 20-mile detour off of I-40. I’m sure the tribe sees a lot more visitors at the casino than the historic pueblo village atop a mesa, but I preferred the latter. Sadly, we pulled into the lot of the visitors’ center just minutes after the last tour left at 3pm. Furthermore, the place was a jip and we wouldn’t have paid anyways. It was $20 each to go up onto the mesa and an extra $10 per camera! We’re on a budget and blowing $50 on an hour tour is not the way to make it a year on a shoestring. Besides, one could see just a small portion of the village from ground level and much of it looked modernized, as people live there to this day…further eroding the appeal of the place. I apologized for the detour and we headed back on I-40, en route to Holbrook, AZ.

I was exhausted so Heidi took the wheel and I snoozed out. She woke me at 5pm, when we pulled in to the gates of the Petrified Forest. As the park was closing an hour later, I suggested we head into town and hit the National Park the next morning, prior to driving towards the big daddy of AZ attractions: the Grand Canyon.

Holbrook is home to one of the few wigwam motels in the country and we considered staying in one of the concrete structures, as Heidi’s pop had suggested it. We decided the cost wasn’t worth the experience and merely snapped a photo of the place before pulling into the OK RV Park, where $25 got us electricity, hot showers, muffins in the morning, wifi and a manager all too eager to suggest myriad things for us to try. Don’t get me wrong: he was a real nice chap…but you gotta wonder if the man ever gets to talk to anyone with the way he spoke to us. That being said, it was much better than the alternative. We prepared a simple dinner and had a little “me” time, placing a black curtain in the middle of the van so Heidi could read in silence while I watched “No Country for Old Men.” Truth be told, we probably both need a little more “me” time, as we’re getting plenty of “us” time.

The next morning we pulled into the Petrified Forest National Park and were notified that our visit was free, as it was National Parks week. So, we got to forego the $25 entry fee! The park consists of two parts: the Painted Desert and the Petrified Forest. The park is set along a 28-mile road, with some spots to pull over and even a few short trails to hike. The Painted Desert is a series of geologic anomalies that cause different bands of color throughout. Meanwhile, the Petrified Forest consists of ancient downed trees, which spent thousands of years buried among sand and sediment, allowing them to become petrified, producing some beautiful semi-precious stones within their rings. Sadly, exploitation has left the Petrified Forest almost bare, and Park Rangers report that 10% of the visitors steal a ton of rock every MONTH! It really is sad that such a national treasure disintegrate before our very eyes, especially when private businesses peddle the same rock, harvested from private lands, at a very reasonable cost. Some say there is a curse associated with pilfering the petrified goods, and thus a conscience pile of returned petrified rocks has grown over the decades, accompanied by letters of those apologetic for their earlier actions.

From the Petrified Forest we headed to Flagstaff and then further north, towards the Grand Canyon. As we climbed in elevation the scenery changed dramatically, from barren desert to a seemingly alpine setting in the San Francisco Mountains, complete with thick groves of pine and birch. The drive was simply breathtaking. We stopped in Tusayan, just miles from the gates of the park, and ate an overpriced meal that left much to be desired. From there, we retreated a couple of miles and into the heart of the Kaibab National Forest, for our first night of dispersed camping. We took a forest road into the forest, and followed a couple of turn offs before stopping at a place that was secluded from both man and machine. It seemed as if we had the entire forest to ourselves! We played a little catch until the sun began to hide it bright rays amongst the trees to the west.

Dispersed camping essentially means you just set up shop wherever you please, and leave no trace behind upon leaving. As such, there are no toilets or running water. I made sure to clear my bowels prior to heading into the forest, because I had little desire to dig a hole for my business, but it didn’t work out so well for me. Since I neglected to pack a shovel, I grabbed a plastic automotive funnel and used it to move the softened red dirt, in order to make a depository…of sorts. Everything worked splendidly, although such practices make one even more grateful of modern plumbing, or even pit toilets for that matter. Although Heidi didn’t get the pleasure of trench pooping, she did have to go #1 after it was pitch black outside, and got a little freaked out when she opened the door of the van, only to hear something scurry away from only feet beyond. We turned on the headlights but were unsuccessful in spotting the creepy critter.

The next morning we went to the Grand Canyon. Despite the free admission I expected the park to b relatively empty, given the fact that it was a Monday in mid-April. Luckily, I was right. But relatively empty at the Grand Canyon is packed for most National Parks. License plates from nearly all 50 states in the union already filled a number of lots by the time we arrived in the late morning. Beyond that, thousands of tourists sleep within the park every night, camping, RVing, or staying in one of the many guest lodges available for those who plan months in advance.

As for the Canyon itself, it is a breathtaking site and no picture will ever truly do it justice. Standing along the south rim, staring for miles into the gorges which drop thousands of feet, you really get a sense of just how massive the place is, and how inconsequential we all seem. We took a leisurely stroll for a few miles along the south rim of the canyon, prior to feasting on a fantastic lunch in the Arizona Room of one of the lodges in the Village. For the more adventurous hikers, you can take an entire day negotiating steep switchbacks down to the bottom of the canyon. I am sure that the view from below must be just as incredible, although with temperatures 25-30 degrees warmer, it could also become unbearable. I expect to return many more times, in order to try the trickier trails and, perhaps someday, share the experience with some rug rats of my own.

Since we hadn’t had the opportunity to shower that morning, we were gonna find a relatively cheap motel to bed down for the night, but only after getting started on our way to Tucson, our next stop. I feared that any place near the Canyon would be pricey and didn’t want to fork over the extra cash. So, we drove for hours before stopping in Camp Verde and checking out a hotel attached to a Native American casino and a Super 8. They ranged from $65-81 and I wasn’t willing to pay it, especially pulling in at 7pm. Quite frankly, I can be a bit frugal at times and if we’re gonna pay for a room I want to check in at the earliest possible time and take full advantage of all the amenities offered. Frustrated, I handed the keys over to Heidi, who suggested trying a campground or RV park. We stopped at one of each, only to leave frustrated both at the situation and one another. I took the wheel and resolved to drive straight through to Tucson, where we could crash with my sister an extra night.

The path we chose took us through mountainous national forests and as the light dissipated the drive became more nerve-wracking. By about 9 or 10pm we arrived in the hamlet of Payson, a fair-sized town complete with a Wal-Mart supercenter and a Home Depot. (Clearly, corporate America had found its way into small-town Arizona.) There, Heidi and I discussed our options rather passionately. I wanted to drive straight through, while she desperately wanted to stop for the night. Again, I had no desire to get a motel that late in the night, so I ended the discussion by pulling into the Wal-Mart and pulling the blinds. I made a basic meal and lay down for the night, while Heidi got some air…flustered with my decision, and feeling like our large van had become something of a holding cell.

The drive fro Payson to Tucson the next morning took us through Tonto National Forest and Roosevelt Lake. Again, the scenery was beautiful and I am amazed by the natural beauty and varied ecosystems which abound in Arizona.

We got to Tucson in the late afternoon and I suggested we use up some KFC gift certificates we received from my sister Margaret prior to beginning this adventure. I had to try the new Double Down sandwich, which consists of two unnaturally large chicken breasts (in lieu of a bun), with pepper jack and bacon in the middle. Quite frankly, it was a little much, but I did manage to scarf most of it down.

Next we drove through the Saguaro National Park, in order to get to my elder sister’s home on the outskirts of town. She wasn’t expecting us until later in the week, but we arrived in town a little early and I figured they’d let us crash for the night, and they obliged.

As we followed the last of Tom’s directions and rounded the corner of one dirt road onto another, there he was: a fifty-something man with a grey mohawk, aided with a cane and armed with a pistol on his hip. He guided us into our parking spot and quickly greeted us with a tour of their estate. They have an acre of land, on which a double-wide trailer sits. In one corner of the property is a coop, complete with a number of chickens and one rooster. There is a mini-semi trailer (for use as storage) on the lot, my old 1968 AMC Ambassador (which they now own) hiding beneath a tattered cover and a large solar panel in another corner of the property, which generates enough electricity (during the day) to sell some back to the power company. They are well on their way to off-the-grid living, although I suspect water is a resource hard to come by in the AZ desert, without the assistance of some sort of municipal system.

Margaret and Tom have three rescue dogs, and they rule the roost. There is Cookie, a quiet yet friendly Australian Shepherd dog with haunting eyes. There is Spike, a little multi-colored beast that yaps ad nauseum, and Ziggy, a three-legged bitch with an abundance of energy and, occasionally, a lack of balance.

Once we arrived at their pad we took some much needed showers (48 hours+ of dirt accumulation), used their wifi and otherwise just relaxed. Tom prepared a great stir fry meal and some extra chocolate brownies. (I suspect the brownies were an attempt to win Heidi over. Regardless, it worked).

The next few days were spent with Heidi’s maternal uncle Jim, and his wife Mary. They are a very youthful couple, but spend the winters in a retirement community in Tucson. They certainly didn’t act the part of their neighbors. After introductions and some storytelling, Jim and Mary took us on a nice rigorous walk through the Saguaro desert, pointing out the different types of cacti and exchanging more stories.

Jim really is a fascinating man and I must admit I have a bit of a man crush. He has been self-employed most of his life and seems to be doing what he enjoys, and he is successful at it too. Mary entered his life a little later than in a traditional marriage, but that only fits in with the bond they have. They are an unconventional couple and not only play, but also work together. In less than a month Heidi and I have already come to the realization that the amount of time we share together can be a bit overwhelming…yet they have been doing, essentially, the same thing for more than two decades. Currently, they spend the summer months tending to a campground and resort in Darby, MT while they spend the other half of the year raveling and kicking it in Tucson. I really enjoyed our time with them and they even sent us to the Desert Museum, which is definitely a must-see if you are ever in the Tucson area. (There you can find native flora, fauna and minerals of the area. An aviary and other exhibits allow you to really get close and interact with the ecosystem.)

While staying with them Mary prepared some excellent dinners, while Jim whipped up a lovely breakfast consisting of blueberry Belgian waffles. I am definitely looking forward to reconnecting with them in Darby for some biking and other outdoor activities. After parting ways, so they could get moving back towards Montana, we rolled back over to my sister’s house. She and Tom brought us to Sabino Canyon, where we took a tram along the bottom of the formation. Our driver was full of information, but seemed a bit out of place with his NYC accent. It was a nice little outing. Of course, Tom whipped up another nice meal (and more brownies) before we hit they hay and prepared for our drive to Phoenix.

We drove to Phoenix on Saturday and hooked up with Heidi’s paternal Uncle Jim and his wife, Vicki. They are another awesome couple and have a beautiful little home in Tempe. They really have the feng shui working well and the house seems lived in yet not cluttered. It is both functional and fashionable. I can only hope that some day I will have a little sanctuary half as perfect as theirs. (That being said, I cannot fathom the upkeep of such a beautiful little crib.)

On Saturday we went out to eat with Jim, Vicki, Heidi’s sis Amy (who flew in from Minneapolis) and Jim’s son Landon. We feasted on some fabulous Mexican cuisine in Scottsdale. While waiting for the restroom, I was reading a review of the joint that berated the typical Mexican spots, where beans, cheese and sauces just drown the food and create a mediocre soup that passes for authentic. While these guys at Los Sombreros do it right and my Pork was some divine melt-in-your mouth stuff. Meanwhile, Heidi had a chicken in mole sauce which was equally exquisite. That being said, I’m grateful Jim treated us, as meals hovered around $20/plate and that’s a quick way to destroy our budget.

We spent Sunday separately, which was probably way overdue. Heidi just lounged around with her big sister, while I went out and exuded some testosterone with my buddy Graham, who also flew in, and our friend Brad, who just moved back down to PHX. We went to the Tonto Forest where we hooked up with a couple of other guys for some rock crawling. Essentially, we piled into four-wheelers and spent the afternoon either crawling treacherous hillsides at a snails pace, or racing through sandy creek beds, taking turns at heart-pounding speeds. All in all, we were out there for about 5 hours and it was a blast…not to mention a welcome respite from three weeks joined at the hip with the love of my life. (Don’t get me wrong: Heidi is the bomb diggity…but we still get on each others’ nerves at times.) Later in the night, after Amy headed home, we hooked up with the boys again for a late dinner. It was great seeing Graham and I’m glad we got to connect while he was here.

We spent Monday in Sedona, a town surrounded by beautiful red rock formations, but overrun by tourists and those waiting to prey on them. With Jeep tours, psychics on every corner and 4-star resorts dotting the hillsides, the place has lost some of the charm that I am sure existed two decades earlier. That being said, we had a nice time hiking a fairly tough trail under the mid-day sun and then grabbed a bite to eat in town. On the way back to PHX we took the long route, through Jerome. It’s an old mining town along a mountainside. Heidi wasn’t too impressed, but I enjoyed the scenery, both natural and otherwise.

Today is Heidi’s birthday and we drove all day to La Jolla, just outside of San Diego. We just got here and will be spending the next two nights near the beach, before heading to Palm Springs and a free stay at a beautiful home!!! Woot woot!